suffering and worry

A few things have been on my plate recently that make me think. All around me I see suffering in many different forms. As they say we each have a different cross to bear. Each cross uniquely our own. Some have health issues, others financial, others jobs or loneliness or any number of things. Some suffer quietly with grace that seems almost saintly while others (like me) struggle just to get through. I complain. I whine. I’m pathetic to say the least. We just recently struggled with a GI bug here and I was less than graceful. It amazes me to see someone who is clearly struggling but with such peace and joy that radiates from them, I need be more like that. I’ve also seen how worry can over take even the most simple situation. I see how worry can lead to such an overwhelming fear and doubt that despair can engulf a person. The truth is we only have today. Nothing else is for certain. We worry and worry about the future, about our crosses, about everything and I know that is not at all what God wants from us. He surely doesn’t want us to worry non stop, to freak our about every little detail until we become desperately engulfed with such negativity that no one wants to be around us. I do understand that things can be down right frightening at times. The who, what, where, when, how, why is always right there haunting us. But what good does it do? What can I do about it? Nothing. I have no power, neither do you. I can only control one thing and I even struggle with that…which is myself. What I say, what I do, that is all I can control. And I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. So why do we spend so much time and energy worrying about every detail, conceiving every possible worst case scenario over and over until we cannot even smile or sleep peacefully for the dread of it all. We spend so much effort in these worries instead of just letting go, letting God do what he does best and to trust that someone bigger, better and more loving than ourselves has it under control. It may never turn into our worst case scenario, or maybe it will… but whatever happens it is our cross to bear, with as much humility and dignity as possible. To turn over it all to God for some greater good… knowing that some good can indeed come from my suffering. Realizing that we have no power, to trust and not take back, and to offer up the immense pain and frustrations is how we grow. Lord please help me to become the person you’ve called me to be. Help me stop worrying, and to have true joy through you.

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